5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Signing Up for Youth Sports

Being a youth sports mom is a wild ride, and no one has a manual for how to navigate this life.  One day it’s about buying the right size cleats. Then suddenly it turns into juggling practice fields and times, checking weather apps, and signing up for snack duty.  We are then wondering if we are making the right decisions for our children. Before you buckle up or if you’re already en route, here are five things I wish I had a heads up on.

1. You will feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.  

There are times when I feel like I have it all organized. I know where all the equipment is, which field we are on, what time practice ends, and which Sign-Up Genius I need to contribute to.  

The reality is there is so much going on in a short period of time that it is almost impossible to have it all together.  A lost mouthguard and four schedule changes has my brain sizzling.  I needed to remember that it is ok to not feel perfect and ask others for help (gulp!).  

2. You will regularly wonder if you are doing the right thing for your child.

These thoughts become a whirlwind of questioning ourselves and hoping we don’t screw it up:

• Which sports do they want to do? 
• Do they even like these sports?  
• Why doesn’t my kid want to play outside of practices and games? 
• Should we specialize in one sport or let them play everything while they can?  
• Is my kid falling behind because we have chosen the multi-sport route?  

Ugh, the questioning is endless, so be prepared.  

The good news is no coach, club or social media post knows what is best for your kids and family. Trust your gut if something doesn’t feel right.  Ask yourself “why?”  Why do I feel uncomfortable about this?  Is it something my child said?  Pressure from other parents? A lot of times the answer to that question will result in making the best decisions.

3. You will not always agree with the coaches in your child’s life.

Oof, this is a tough one, especially if you are a former athlete or coach yourself.  One of the most challenging parts of being a sports mom is watching/thinking your child is being short-changed or not given the opportunities you believe they deserve.  

And that frustration is usually directed at the ones in charge of those decisions: the coaches.  

There is a way to handle these challenges, and it is not during or after games.  Demonstrating maturity and professionalism when approaching an adult who is volunteering their time and energy to work with kids in town is essential to your youth sports journey.  

For you and your family.

Coaches are not perfect, but most genuinely want what’s best for the players and the team overall.  If you have concerns, choose an appropriate time to ask questions instead of making accusations. Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than frustration.  This approach goes a long way in both the outcome and the maturity it models for children.

4. The car ride home matters more than you think.

This one hit me like a sandstorm.  As a former coach, I had some ideas of post-game conversations parents had with my players based on how the players reacted, things they said about the game, but I never realized the value of that time until I became a sports mom myself.

Those precious minutes in the car after a game are so incredibly monumental that it took me a lot of self-reflection to realize what my role needed to be.  After a tough loss, sometimes I needed to just let there be silence.  My child is already replaying the barrage of mistakes and failed plays in his head…

…so why am I going to shine light on that? 

I, of course, want to break down the game: “why did you make that decision, what was that play you guys ran, that ref was ridiculous,” etc. And then I realized, is my analysis going to help the situation or make it worse?  That answer became clear and I decided to keep my mouth shut and let my child take the lead on the post-game conversation.  

When kids are ready to talk, they will talk.

For a more in-depth breakdown on how to make the car ride home a more effective and positive experience for everyone, check out our Parent’s Playbook: The Car Ride Home.

5. Be mindful of how you measure success.

Wins. Losses. Stats. Rankings.

These are the most common measurements used in the sports world to define a successful player, team, and organization.  They are used because they serve as something to strive for, what goals we want to accomplish, and they are absolutely an important part of youth player development.

However, the danger comes when those are the only things we celebrate. 

I have had to redirect my competitive spirit quite a few times to acknowledge: 

• The growth that takes place during a loss
• When I see my kids helping their opponent up from a fall
• How they hustle when no one is watching
• If they were brave enough to take a risk
• How they cheer on their teammates despite having a bad game themselves
• When the team is visibly having fun and kids are smiling

These victories matter and should be celebrated as well.

At the end of the day, very few children grow up to become professional athletes, but every one of them will grow up to become adults.  If youth sports can help our kids become confident, resilient, kind, hardworking people who love being part of a team, I would call that a successful experience.

Regardless of what the standings say.

6. Bonus Tip: Remember why your family started youth sports in the first place.

When the chaos hits, and it will hit ferociously, it is important to go back to the reason we started this journey in the first place.  What is your “why?” 

Because when the schedules get busier and competition gets tougher, it’s easy to forget where it all began in the first place.

There is a lot of noise in the world of youth sports: rankings, club teams, private training, showcases, social media….it can easily distract us from what our original intention was when entering this world.

Most of us signed up our kids for sports because we wanted them to have fun, learn how to work with others, build confidence, stay active, make friends, and experience the joy of being part of a team.

Those reasons are still enough.